So as predicted I spent alllll day cooking. Gah. Cooking is really tiring by the way. The chili I made is the shit though, seeing as it's my first time ever making chili from scratch. It could have been better I'll admit but hey for a newbie it was the shit. Hell, my roommate wanted to steal some so that's the highlight of my day. Yeah, me and the roommates don't really get on very well anymore. Whatevers though.
Finally got off my lazy ass and called the psychiatrist today. So hopefully I'll be getting medication soon, and I can try being at least semi-normal. Hell, I'd settle for not being completely suicidal at this point, so pray for drugs. :o)
And yes, you guys read that right, by all technical terms, I'm suicidal. However, I'm not stupid enough to actually go through with it. Not saying that people who do committ suicide are stupid, they just aren't realizing that it's a very permanent solution to a very temperary problem. I know it won't solve anything, and unless I put a bullet through the back of my skull, the chances of it being successful are slim, despite what the news and movies tell you. I also understand that suicide and self harm in general is related to a chemical inbalance because one of our baser instincts in to survive, and wanting/needing to go against it means there's something seriously wrong. I know this, hence why I'm hoping for drugs. And hoping my insurance covers it.
Oh so, more and more recently I'm being reminded as to why I miss the west coast for reasons other than the weather. Because of the magic of Twitter, I get updates from people I use to hang with back in Cali and bands I use to be addicted to namely 30STM. I've missed several events/parties that I would have been privy to were I still in Cali. I've also missed a couple events at the Playboy Mansion that I could have managed to get into as well. Add in the fact that I'm so far from my heart and soul, i.e. Hollyweird, I'm just losing my mind. I really hope I get into UCLA so I can move back. *sigh* Pray for that too.
Is it odd that despite all the food I just made, I'm seriously thinking of going on a fast for the next couple of days? Just to cleanse my system and start fresh. I should probably do a flush and a fast before school starts back. Hmm... I'll see about that.
I was at Wally World the other day and true to my word I looked into getting v-neck tees. Homigawd, 5-pack for $10. Are we serious? That's so uber perf. And I was looking into some pretty awesome dyeing techniques too so hopefully I'll get some really awesome shirts for real cheap. And Gio just bought me a really cute necklace that I'm so excited about. I don't get it until after he performs in it, but still excited.
So I decided since I've been caught up on the ladies recently I'd post an ab fab guy today. Trust he is a male, okay? Copyright: Jose Manchado (again, lol)
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