I know...

So yeah, I know I've been extremely absent from this blog recently. But if it makes you feel any better I've been a little absent from life as well. I've been really busy with finals and life just piling on top of things so yeah, I've been gone. Oh well, I'll try and do better from now on out. I'm thinking about trying that 30 days thing again, see if it works this time. But idk...

Anywho, so let's see what's up? Um... I'm in Cali, that's probably the biggest thing. As some of you may know I'm originally from Cali and my family lives here. So I'm breaking here between schools. It's pretty much official I'm moving to Florida come like end of July for school. I'll be attending Full Sail University in Winter Park, FL getting a Bachelors in Film. It's an entertainment university so no more boring classes that have nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. So that's pretty awesome.

I already found a roommate and apartment too, so that's kind of awesome. Her name is Abeni, but she goes by Abby, and we're like long lost sisters so we'll get on great I think. Woot.

Um, what else? Oh yeah, so in my break from this blog I had a very brief relationship with a girl. She is gorgeous, and super sweet, but I can't say our relationship ended well. We met at a party of mutual friends, and she was instantly attracted to me, even though she believed herself straight until that point. She was nice and again gorgeous so I figured why not? Problem was, I knew I was leaving for Cali in not too long, so it would kind of be unfair for her. She said she didn't care, would enjoy the time we had together.

For those of you who don't know I'm polyamorous along with being pansexual, so I have a tendency to be interested in more than one person at a time with the same amount of emotion. Well I told her this, because she needed to know, and she said that was okay we weren't going to be that serious and I wasn't asking for complete commitment since I knew I was leaving from the beginning.

So the other interest was Josh, which I knew from the beginning was going no where, but a girl can't help hoping. Well introduced V to Josh, just because they were both close to me and I thought they'd get on well. Turns out, they did. They ended up fucking at Kris's bday party, about a half hour after I left. Now while that doesn't exactly thrill me, it's whatever really. I wasn't sleeping with V and I sure as fuck wasn't sleeping with Josh, so I couldn't technically lay claim to either of them. Problem is, V wasn't going to tell me it happened at all, because she didn't want it to "complicate" my last week. Yeah, well, no good. I, honestly, don't care that it happened, it really bugs that she didn't want to tell me. I found out because I am who I am in Athens, GA and not much happens to people I know without me finding out about it. That's just the way it is. A few days after it happened she told Josh not to say anything to me about it, to which he correctly replied that I probably already knew, I did.

Her and I "discussed" this little happening a few times, without her ever really getting my point on the whole situation. That is why I say things didn't end fabulously. They just kind of ended, and now I'm not really mad anymore, more ambivalent but still...

Whatever it happened, and it's over so who cares. I have some much bigger problems to worry about than a relationship that ended poorly. I forget on several occasions how old I really am. I mean, I'm only 19 technically, but I feel easily 26 or 27, with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm in desperate need for a job because I have to be able to afford my new school before whatever financial aid I'm able to acquire kicks in, which is about 45 days. And yeah, don't know. I have two interviews this week, one with Macy's, the other with Express, so hopefully I'll get one of those and be set. I also have to figure out how to furnish an apartment on a limited budget. I know not many of you know, but I really enjoy interior design. It's something I picked up from my mother. That along with my feeling like an adult combines to make me really all about decorating my new place. Abby seems all about it and our tastes seem to match so woot.

I'm still recovering from the fire. I mean physically I'm fine, thank God. But recovering all of the stuff I lost is not going to be fun. My makeup is being sorely missed right now. I also very much miss the money I had to spend to replace the necessary things. I want to shop like I use to in high school, I want to be able to be fashionable, not just cute. I know I've mentioned this before but it still rings true. I see a lot of killer things out there and I know exactly how great they'd be with different things, and V got me into shopping hardcore again, so I'm in serious trouble. Even with a job, I'm going to have to save most of it for Florida, so not a lot of spending, even though I will have a discount. *shrug* Who knows? I need some paying modeling gigs too, that could be play money. If I could lose like 20lbs I could model professionally and not worry about it at all... But yeah about that... I am losing weight though, but I don't know how and that worries me. Maybe I should just be happy it's going away?

Whatever. I need to go, so I'm going to end that there. This turned into a much larger monster than I thought it would be.

XOXO
AJ